Resistance is Futile

Pollo Campero Sign

Pollo Campero is Guatemala’s most successful transnational company. With its tender, juicy and crunchy fried chicken, Campero has done what other Central American companies can only dream of, take their brand the world over. There are now many business schools and consultants doing Pollo Campero case studies. Pollo Campero: Conquering the World of Fried Chicken is one such case study from the Foster School of Business of the University of Washington.

Because of the avalanche of news of Campero’s success in the U.S. and other countries in Asia, a while ago I decided to write a parody entitled Resistance is Futile, We are Pollo Campero Borg. I share it with you again for your enjoyment.

Soon everyone will be familiar with this logotype. Resistance is futile, all of you will be assimilated, we are the Campero Borg Collective. Juan José Gutiérrez and Dionisio Gutiérrez remind me of Pinky and The Brain because of their weekly plans to take over the world. The first plan began over 35 years ago, 1971 to be precise, in a tiny joint in Guatemala City. Their plan was very simple: let’s make a clone of Kentucky Fried Chicken and let’s sell it the world over. So far their plan has taken them as far as many U.S. cities, Madrid and Jakarta and in ten days to Shanghai. In China, Pinky and The Brain Gutiérrez plan to open up 500 new restaurants in the next five years; that is little over 8 restaurants per month. The Gutiérrez plan is to convince or convert the world over to their recipe of fried chicken which is tender, juicy and crunchy by way of plain logic: after all, how can 1.7 billion Chinese be wrong, right?

So if you didn’t know anything about this tiny banana republic in Central America by the name of Guatemala, soon you will! You will know our Campero fried chicken, you will know our babies, and you will know about our workers (undocumented immigrants), among other not-so-glamorous facts. Stay tune or not, either way you will be assimilated!

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© 2009 – 2020, Rudy Giron. All rights reserved.

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