Resistance is Futile

Pollo Campero Sign

Pollo Campero is Guatemala’s most successful transnational company. With its tender, juicy and crunchy fried chicken, Campero has done what other Central American companies can only dream of, take their brand the world over. There are now many business schools and consultants doing Pollo Campero case studies. Pollo Campero: Conquering the World of Fried Chicken is one such case study from the Foster School of Business of the University of Washington.

Because of the avalanche of news of Campero’s success in the U.S. and other countries in Asia, a while ago I decided to write a parody entitled Resistance is Futile, We are Pollo Campero Borg. I share it with you again for your enjoyment.

Soon everyone will be familiar with this logotype. Resistance is futile, all of you will be assimilated, we are the Campero Borg Collective. Juan José Gutiérrez and Dionisio Gutiérrez remind me of Pinky and The Brain because of their weekly plans to take over the world. The first plan began over 35 years ago, 1971 to be precise, in a tiny joint in Guatemala City. Their plan was very simple: let’s make a clone of Kentucky Fried Chicken and let’s sell it the world over. So far their plan has taken them as far as many U.S. cities, Madrid and Jakarta and in ten days to Shanghai. In China, Pinky and The Brain Gutiérrez plan to open up 500 new restaurants in the next five years; that is little over 8 restaurants per month. The Gutiérrez plan is to convince or convert the world over to their recipe of fried chicken which is tender, juicy and crunchy by way of plain logic: after all, how can 1.7 billion Chinese be wrong, right?

So if you didn’t know anything about this tiny banana republic in Central America by the name of Guatemala, soon you will! You will know our Campero fried chicken, you will know our babies, and you will know about our workers (undocumented immigrants), among other not-so-glamorous facts. Stay tune or not, either way you will be assimilated!

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© 2009 – 2016, Rudy Giron. All rights reserved.

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  • A-Ha! So it is an invasion, ;O) There is a story of a friend that went to Japan, and suddenly he finds himself before a Pollo Campero, and he said it was the best meal ever!!! I guess that some of us don’t have it much here, but if we find ourselves abroad, some Pollo Campero is to be in order, ;O)

    Cheeeeeeers!!!!!!!

  • JerryBrown

    Unfortunately, it’s not so good here in the USA. I think it may be hurt by some regulations regarding food allergies, and the seasoning is not the same. I’ll stick with KFC here in the USA, but Pollo Campero is definitely tasty when I’m in Guate.

  • JerryBrown

    Ok, in the name of research we went to the Pollo Campero in Plano, Texas, this evening. We’ve been there once before, and we’ve been equally disappointed each time. We spoke to the manager (who started as a cook in Pollo Campero in El Salvador), and he feels that it is the chicken itself that makes a big difference, which is kind of interesting, but believable. Also, we all noted that the people are also the difference. In Guatemala, a job at Pollo Campero is a good job, and the workers have a great deal of pride in what they do, whereas in the USA, fast food jobs are near the bottom of the barrel for the quality of people you get. Big difference. After complaining about the plantanos being a little undercooked, the manager came out with a fine batch for us. While the manager says the spices are the same, I don’t think so, otherwise there would have to be peanut allergy warnings all over the place. If you don’t believe me, have someone buy some of the stolen Pollo Campero coating at the LAG market, and feed it to someone with a severe peanut allergy. I’m pretty sure they’ll die. 🙂 Anyhow, all this was done for you, the readers of LAG Daily Photo. Noches!

    • @Jerry, you guys are so committed and dedicated; your actions do not go unnoticed. That’s what I call sacrifice for the sake of field research. Thanks!

  • ms.angel

    lol!
    One of my favorite memories of living in Antigua was Pollo Campero. My family used to eat breakfast there every Sunday before we went to church.

    A few years ago, I visited Chicago, IL to visit a friend. My friend told me that there was a Pollo Campero in Chicago. I was so excited! I am happy to report that the chicken was the same as I remembered it, and the restaurant was decorated with large glossy photos of Antigua and Guatemala (A pic of Volcan de Agua!). Sadly for me, the menu has changed. Perhaps it was because I hadn’t been to a Pollo Campero for over 10 years, but I think it was also changed for the gringos.

  • I like the one i have here in Phoenix but what disappointment is that they dont offer the extra crispy in the states.

    • Frank, perhaps since people are more concern with health issues than with flavor, Campero feels that “extra crispy” may not sell well; I don’t know really, what do you think?